What else could you have done?

You keep turning the experience over in your mind. You are rethinking your actions and responses, which leads to questioning and doubting yourself. Instead of making yourself crazy, why not ask and honestly answer this one simple question, “What else could I have done?”

Then take it one step further by asking, “If you could have done it, why didn’t you do it?”

Could you have been more considerate? Compassionate? Understanding? Probably.

Could you have been more patient? More tolerant? More cautious? Well, what do you think?

Could you have said more or less? Could you have listened a bit closer? Could you have planned better? Waited longer?

Off course you could have…but you didn’t.

When you feel sufficiently remorseful, overwhelmingly confused and totally beaten down, you will be on the brink of a divine revelation!

You will be face to face with something you probably never considered. Something too simple! Too easy!

The truth is…

…if you could have done it, you would have.

The fact that you didn’t means you couldn’t for reasons you may not be aware of right now.

Second-guessing yesterday will not help you today. Holding yourself hostage to what was not will not propel you into what will be. As you accept the reality of what you did not do in past, you open yourself to the luxury of knowing it does not mean you will not do better in the future.

Until today, you may have held yourself hostage with remorse over what you could have done. In fact, you may be pushing yourself to a point of remorseful no return.

Just for today, realize you did all you could have done. Take note of what you saw, heard, felt and experienced. Use these notes as preparation to do better at some later date.

Today, accept that you have done the best you could.

(An extract from Iyanla Vanzant’s ‘Until Today!’)

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