If you tell yourself something long enough, you will believe it. If you fail to take the time to question why you do what you do, you can become convinced that you cannot do anything else.

Other people will help you stay convinced. People are in the habit of telling other people who they are. They tell you who they expect you to be, who they need you to be and who they want you to be. If you listen to people about who you are, you may realise you cannot be yourself because you have been somebody else for so long!

How can you be happy with yourself and still please your parents? How can you be yourself and meet the demands of the world around you? How much of what you do is what is expected of you? How can you figure out how much of you is them? Well, needless to say, it ain’t easy!

But there is a way…

When you can be happy with yourself and what you do without feeling guilty about it, your parents will be pleased. When you negotiate the salary you believe you are worthy of having, you will be excited about going to work. When you resist the tendency to control your children, you will be the parent that every child needs. When you are willing to accept yourself without believing that you have to be right all of the time, everybody will want to marry you. When you open your heart and allow people to see you exactly as you are, you will attract more friends than you will know what to do with.

If on the other hand, you are defending the reasons, holding on to the excuses, offering explanations for why you are they way you are, you may never know the truth of your being.

Until today, you may not have been aware of your true identity. You may have accepted the expectations of others as the fabric of your being. Just for today, stand in your true identity without guilt, defences or apologies.

Today, be devoted to finding out exactly who you are!

(An extract from Iyanla Vanzant’s ‘Until Today!’)

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